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One day, an enterprising young man decided to host a tweetup. He walked proudly into his kitchen and announced to his wife, “I’m going to host a tweetup!”
“What’s a tweetup?” asked his wife.
“It’s a social event, where people mix and mingle and tweet for hours. And, they share a hashtag,” he answered.
“Umm, you’re married now. The only person you’re sharing a hashtag with is me.” [Read more…] about Tweetup Tales (Part 1)
When I was in college (for nearly a decade), being photographed face down in public usually was associated with some sort of consumption. Leave it to Taiwanese college girls to turn it into some sort of artistic “cause” driven activity! Is nothing beyond the reach of political correctness?
Anyway, “planking” as it is known in Taiwan, China, and Australia is becoming quite popular. Apparently you just lie face down and get your picture taken. This is somehow viewed as artistic and deep and brings awareness to a variety of serious world issues such as pet overpopulation, climate change, and fears of another Twilight movie.
Yet, being the civic minded chap that I am, I began to think about how I could use planking to call attention to the serious issues here in Indianapolis. For starters, I could plank in front of Conseco Fieldhouse to draw attention to the fact that the Pacers haven’t been relevant since Reggie Miller retired. Or, I could plank on Monument Circle, and call attention to the fact that there isn’t one statue of Jim Gaffigan anywhere in this state!
According to Reuters, one of the Taiwanese plankers said, “It’s not really that difficult to plank and I really don’t mind getting dirty.” Have we fallen this far? I mean let’s face it, Americans get a lot of grief for being couch potatoes, but at least we still have the gumption to get out into the streets with signs and march for heaven’s sake! Protesting by lying face down on the ground? That’s the ultimate slacktivism!
Carry on, Citizens!
Nature (and apparently college football) abhors a vaccum. And a vaccum is exactly what the BCS Committee created yesterday when they vacated USC’s 2004 Championship. However, being the civic minded person that I am, I’ve declared a new BCS Champion for 2004. Somebody beat Oklahoma, right?
It all started nearly a decade ago when the USC Trojans decided that the best way to win championships was to look the other way when agents, boosters, and the Russian mafia* would hang out with their players. “Free cars, houses, gold plated Pez dispensers? We didn’t see ANY of that,” was what the coaching staff would routinely say. Well, somebody saw lots of that and the program was put on probation by the NCAA.
Not that they did it right away, mind you. This case has been going on Reggie Bush’s entire professional career! But, the BCS finally got around to taking away their 2004 title. And that means, we need a new champion!
So, without further adieu, unless you like that sort of thing, I will name the Carry On, Citizens 2004 BCS Champions: The Scottsdale Community College Fighting Artichokes! Why the Fighting Artichokes, you ask? Well, for starters, can you think of a more ridiculously unique mascot in all of college athletics? Secondly,there isn’t anything more ridiculous than having no champion, so why not name a school that isn’t even in Division 1 (or the Bowl Championship Division as they keep trying to get us to call it).
Finally, Oklahoma lost. And I’m sure they wouldn’t want to be handed the title without earning it. And the same goes for every other school in the NCAA. That’s why letting me name a new champion makes total sense (to me anyway). Now, there have been other NCAA championships vacated in the past. And I’ve decided to name the winners in those years/sports too. So if your oft overlooked community or junior college would like a Carry On, Citizens National Championship, drop me a note or post a comment below. We might even send you a trophy!
Carry on, Citizens!