The Dating Idiot

This week’s letter comes from Mark in Beech Grove:

Dear Dating Idiot: I’m never quite sure how to end a first date. Should I always try for the kiss or should I settle on a hug?

Dear Mark,
This is an excellent question and one that many of your fellow readers want to know. There are basically 4 ways you can end the date: kiss, hug, shake hands, head butt. [Read more…] about The Dating Idiot: (Kiss, Shake Hands, or Headbutt)

This week’s Dating Idiot letter comes from Alan in Irvington:

Dear Dating Idiot,

My girlfriend dumped me over the weekend and she said she still wants to be friends. Does she really want to be friends or is she just trying to let me down easy?

Alan: When a girl says she want to be friends, what she really means is she that even though she just eviscerated your heart, she doesn’t want you to be mad at her to the point that you tell all your mutual friends what a mean person she really is. The thought of you telling her friends that she should be seeing a whole team of psychiatrists is a little off-putting for her and she would rather you think nicely of her. Besides, she probably thinks the “friend” thing will keep you marginally interested in the possibility that she may change your mind. And she will encourage that thinking by reinforcing that she wants to be friends. And, she really means it —inasmuch as you don’t call her, suggest you hang out, or IM her on Facebook. So, to sum up Alan, she really doesn’t want to be your friend. And with that, I need to end this blog post. But, we can still be friends…

Remember to send in your dating questions! If we use it in a post, we’ll send you a free t-shirt!

Carry on, Citizens!

We here at Godzilla’s Citizen Hideout (the Official Home of Carry On, Citizens!) are always looking for ways we can serve the greater good and help our fellow man (and our fellow woman). During today’s staff meeting, my pet moose suggested that I write a dating advice column. Now, I don’t know what’s more preposterous: that he suggested I write a dating column or that you’ve read COC all these years and didn’t know I had a talking moose. [Read more…] about The Dating Idiot (Couch Forts and Weddings)