If you like your events dipped in batter and fried to a golden brown, the State Fair is almost here! The event’s organizers are calling this the Year of Soybeans. I wonder if they will try to deep fry them. Let’s face it, that wouldn’t be the most ridiculous deep fried thing sold there. We had the deep fried Oreos, the deep fried Pepsi (I still can’t figure that one out), and deep fried Twinkies.
This year they are promoting deep fried Ice Cream. Why? Are we trying to reminisce about the days when nothing said Hoosier and Mexican food like an evening at Chi Chi’s? Seriously, State Fair organizers. Let’s step up our game! I even caught wind of the possibility of deep fried tofu at this year’s event. When I heard the news, I wept openly.
Think about it: deep fried ice cream, deep fried tofu, and the Year of the Soybeans. This, my dear Citizens, is called anti-marketing. Clearly they are trying to drive people away from the Fair. Clearly, there’s something really cool they don’t want to let just anyone in on. Clearly, there’s going to be an end to this paragraph filled with sentences beginning with clearly.
I think we are in for a surprise. Somebody over at the Fair is planning something over-the-top. Maybe it will be deep fried hot pockets. Maybe they will have Whitesnake performing live at the Tilt-A-Whirl. Maybe Chris Angel will turn the Blue Ribbon pig into an instant platter of bacon and ribs using magic and spork. And maybe, for no apparent reason, Bonnie Bernstein will decide she wants fair food, fly to Indiana, and find herself in line in front of me. And as she turns around, holding her deep fried ice cream, I will look her in the eyes and say…
Carry on, Citizens!